A Great Blog

Homeward bound!

2010-09-29T13:31:00.000+01:00

Currently sitting in Helsinki airport waiting for our connecting flight to Manchester. Spent yesterday travelling from Jodhpur to Delhi by Air India, then got dropped off at a backstreet hotel by a helpful taxi driver. We asked to get food in the hotel restaurant which turned out to be a room with one table and a couple of picnic chairs - Jukesy had his usual argument about whether the curry came 'boneless' or not - 'yes sir, the masala is boneless but the korma is not'. 'Ok' says Jukesy, 'can I pay extra to have a boneless korma?'. Waiter says 'No sir, that is impossible'. So, he went for the masala, which came on the bone! Classic!

Think it gave him a disturbed sleep as well, cos he alternated between laughing out loud, snoring, and then running on the spot like a labrador!

After a couple of hours sleep, we got up and took our last Indian taxi drive to the airport at Delhi, then a long flight here. Think we're all ready for home now, but I'm thinking that by next week we'll all be sorry to be back!

Share the wealth

2010-09-29T13:21:00.000+01:00

Tues 28^th Sept
I’m not saying McG is tight, but he is a good haggler. This “I’m not paying over the top tourist prices” position bore a discussion about sharing the wealth (not that we are financially wealthy) in a sort of Karma way. You share with people and people will share with you. You help people and people will come to your aid when in need. You know, what goes around comes around type of thing. Now, to my point. We are sat in Jodhpur airport waiting for our flight to Delhi. A few minutes ago we were all sat eating snicker bars when a well dressed middle aged Indian guy slowly walked passed us all and took a long lasting stare at my snicker which I had just opened. I promptly offer the bar to him. He reached over and snapped a piece off, then happily went on his way. Now we are running on the few remaining rupees and have to eat tonight, pay for a hotel and eat tomorrow. So, with a little bit of Karma, we just might happen on a cheap Delhi guest house with delicious but cheap chicken tikka masala, fingers crossed. Do I need to keep my fingers crossed if I believe in Karma? Lets see

4 toast, 6 toast

2010-09-27T07:19:00.000+01:00

Have you ever tried to order an odd number of slices of toast? Tried to do this a number of times in different hotels but to no avail. One Indian waiter considered this request for several minutes, the mental cogs turning and the furrowed brow contorted, before deciding that "this was impossible". I could have 4 slices or 6 slices, or 8, 10 or 12 for that matter, but not 5. Ok, I will have 6 and leave 1. We ourselves debated this conundrum, and came to the conclusion that the toasters all have 2 slots - riddle solved.

Just when I thought my bruised bony ass couldn’t get any flatter!

2010-09-27T07:03:00.001+01:00

Sunday 26^th Sept
Our last full day in Jiasalmer today. Rather than wait around for the Rickshaw Run finishing parade we decided to hire some motor bikes and head out to the sand dunes of the Sam Desert. After some pathetic, and to the amusement of the locals, attempts to ride the bikes up the sand dunes, we stopped and had a drink. We then all decided that, hey, I’ve never been on a camel, lets hire a camel each for half an hour. By this time it was midday and the ambient temperature was 42^oC with not a cloud in the sky. We decided from the outset that we would just take a 30 minute ride, just for the experience. The camels, mine called Babaloo, and his/her owner had different ideas and headed off with us all into the desert. Whilst the camel was walking, it was almost bearable on the Butt. But when the camel started to trot we all suffered a sustained pummelling to an already bruised and flattened gluteus. Once arrived at our desert destination we faced a torturous dilemma. Do we ask the camel guys to have the camels just walk back slowly in order to prevent further saddle pummelling, or do we trot back and get out of the midday sun. Yes, you’ve guessed it, we all have sunburnt bodies. We then headed back to Jiasalmer, found a gaff with a swimming pool and soaked away the rest of the sweaty afternoon

Some photos

2010-09-26T05:44:00.000+01:00

Our journey explained!

2010-09-26T05:41:00.001+01:00

Sunday 26^th Sept
Now we have completed the Rickshaw Run, here is a run down of our travels. We flew from Manchester to Delhi, then Delhi to Bagdogra. We then took a Taxi Jeep up the mountain to the start of the Rickshaw run in Gangtok, Sikkim. We collected our Rickshaw and departed Gangtok on Sunday 12^th September. We finished that day in Shiliguri in West Bengal and stayed 1 night.. We then left Shiliguri on the 13^th and finished just over the border in Nepal. We stayed in Kakarbhitta for 1 night. We left the following morning (14^th) and finished at Lalbiti, Nepal and stayed 1 night. We left mid morning and finished at Hetuada, Nepal and stayed 1 night. We left early morning (16^th) finishing in Kathmandu at 9.30pm. We stayed in Kathmandu for 3 nights. During this time, we took an early morning mountain flight around Everest. We left Kathmandu 6am on the 19^th and finished just inside the border at Bhairawa and stayed 1 night. We crossed the border back into India at Sunali, passed through Gorakhpur and finished at Lucknow and stayed 1 night. We put our Rickshaw on a train and sent it to Jodhpur. We took a train to Agra and stayed 1 night (23rd). We then took a sleeper train, overnight, to Jodhpur, arriving at 7am (24th) We then set off for Jaisalmer at 9am, and arrived at 4.30pm, completing the Rickshaw Run. We stayed in Jaisalmer for 3 nights and then left by Train on the 27^th going to Jodhpur stayed 1 night. We then took a flight from Jodhpur to Delhi stayed 1 night. Final flight Delhi to Manchester via Helsinki on 29th.
7 flights
3 train journeys
Thousands of Kilometres by Rickshaw
13 nights in India
7 nights in Nepal
A naked eye look at Everest
5 breakdowns
3 very flat and bruised hairy arses.

What a pair of plonkers!

2010-09-26T05:22:00.001+01:00

After Tall and Small bought traditional Indian outfits from a guy in the market at Lucknow the pair of plonkersonly turned up in my room the next morning donning the delightful outfits. They duly informed me that they would be wearing the outfits for the rest of the day. I pleaded with them to look in the mirror and accept that they were making a fundamental fashion faux paire. They did not heed my advice and proceeded to wear the carry on costumes to one of the world's most beautiful monuments.

The Taj Mahal!

Like a pair of escapees from a local looney establishment they boldly walked through all the beggars and hawkers to visit one of the most special places on the planet.

Despite being accompanied by the two looney tunes, the place was very special, and a must for anyone visiting India, its pretty mesmerising and can probably only be truly appreciated by actually visiting it!

Mr Jukes proceeded to do 'David brent' type poses around the grounds, I think even some Japanese tourists were taking photos of him, at one point a crowd gathered to see his famous Zoolander pose.

Timbo kept getting comments from local Indians about how regal he looked, looked more like a little fat gadgey in a skirt to me!!

Anyway probably one of the experiences of my life if I hadn't been with those two halfwits!

Why 'the Armchair Loafers?'

2010-09-26T03:31:00.000+01:00

When we were in Kathmandu we were asked why we are called 'the armchair loafers' and I explained that we are all a bit lazy at heart, and without proper motivation we are all happy to loaf around all day. Yesterday was a case in point - with great plans for a motorbike ride into the desert, we instead spent ages drinking coffee, had a wander around a few shops (and haggled over the price of wall hangings!) and then spent the afternoon and evening drinking beer on the rooftop of our hotel! So we've instead booked motorbikes for today, and we'll see how that goes!

The person asking us about our team name in Kathmandu was an American producer of a new travel documentary called 'Seven Journeys'. We have no idea if they were a real film crew or not because they were using Canon EOS cameras to film things which they said can do broadcast quality video, but it seemed a bit strange that they didn't have 'proper' film cameras. They did seem to have a big group of people involved and were following two 'tourists' doing bizarre travel activities (like training with the gurkhas in the jungle!). They loved the idea of the rickshaw run so interviewed me on camera - they also wanted to get their 'tourist' to drive around Kathmandu in the rickshaw, but on the afternoon an American rickshaw team arrived at the hotel so we got dumped! So we may or may not end up in a travel documentary (though I'm not holding my breath!)

The finish line!

2010-09-25T06:51:00.000+01:00

It was a long drive from Jodhpur to Jaisalmer, but on a good road with limited traffic. Most of the obstacles during the day were cattle, sheep and goats rather than wagons. We all had a bit of a drive as this would be the end of the Rickshaw Run. The desert is fairly green at the moment because of the exceptionally heavy monsoon they've had this year.

Passed a few other tuks on the journey so phoned ahead to prebook the hotel. Jaisalmer has a big fort sitting on top of the hill and when we arrived, some locals told us that our hotel is part of the fort. A steep drive uphill through narrow roads and we finally made it. I had to stall the tuk to turn off the engine, as the parcel people had bypassed the ignition to get it on the train (so a key is no longer required). Matt from The Adventurists was there to take our keys and that's the end of that!

We now have a few days in Jaisalmer to relax before the long haul home - first back to Jodhpur by train, then flight to Delhi, then flight home. Its been an amazing adventure, and surprisingly we are all still talking to each other. McGill and I will probably forgo the 'six pack' challenge cos I think we've all put weight on - not so much by the food, but by the inactivity - sitting in a bouncing tuk for 8 hours a day only gives you a sore backside but doesn't burn any calories (back to fat club on my return, I think!).

Today we are planning to hire some motorbikes and have a drive out into the desert, and who knows what tomorrow might bring (apart from bring us one day closer to the end of the trip!)

Bat out of hell!

2010-09-25T06:41:00.002+01:00

We managed to post the Tuk to Jodhpur and caught a train to Agra. It was the slowest train service ever - it left half an hour late and arrived two hours late, and we were all knackered! The simplest thing to do was to get a taxi driver to take us to the nearest hotel, which turned out to be a dump, but most of the midrange hotels are, so we decided to stay. McGill phoned down for room service and asked for some beer, and was told ‘sorry its impossible’ so we both went down to find out where the nearest bar would be at 11 pm. The guy on reception then said ‘no problem, I’ll send beer to your room!’ That’s India - nothing seems to make sense. McGill then found a gigantic cockroach in our bathroom and chased it out and down the hallway. We decided it was safest to sit in Jukesy’s room to drink our beer and we left the door open for a draft - a couple of minutes later I said ‘I’ve just seen a bat fly past the door’ but they didn’t believe me, until a short while later when it swooped into the room and flew in a circle and back out of the door! McGill displayed his innate courage by squealing like a girl and waving his arms about - we drank the rest of our beer with the door closed! Then off to bed at 2 am cos we have to be up and ready to leave at 9 am to see the Taj Mahal.

2010-09-25T06:39:00.000+01:00

The Cattle Drive
Friday 24^th Sept
Our final leg of the journey in the Tuk Tuk - Jodhpur to Jaisalmer. Met a young Indian guy at the petrol station who just wanted to help. He explained the pump attendant exactly what we required - 16 litres of petrol and a litre of 2 stroke oil, before dashing off to get us a funnel for future filling up from fuel containers. He then explained the best way out of town and on to the road we required, and then decided to escort us out of town so we wouldn’t get lost. A nice young guy just wanting to help. Hey, don’t knock it, it could be the start of world peace! A 300 Kilometre ride ahead of us in a Tuk that averages around 25 to 30 Kph. Straight roads, good tarmac, for the most part, but those pesky animals

Best nights sleep so far

2010-09-25T06:15:00.002+01:00

Friday 24^th Sept
Arrived at Jodhpur railway station at 7am after an eleven hour train ride from Agra. We had booked the sleeper carriage and the three of us had a little compartment to our selves with 4 drop down bunk beds. Speaking to other guys who had taken a sleeper train, he had not done so bad, as they had had to share there compartments with the locals who would manage to squeeze three people on each bunk. We settled in for the night with a bag of curry potato pasties and a large bottle of moonshine - 300 rupees for a bottle of whisky cant be bad. Needless to say we all slept well, and one of us slept to well. McGill proclaimed it was the best night sleep he had had throughout the trip. I awoke during the night to go to the loo, and notice McG sound asleep, in the foetal position sucking his thumb as the train gently rocked him to and thro. In fact he slept that well that he was last off the train after being woken and asked to leave the carriage by the station master.

After an early morning search, we came upon our Tuk Tuk in the parcel compound, sitting there in all its might and glory. A little battered, and less things working that when we posted it, but there ready to go and transport us on to our next destination. Well ready, but not until 10am. After a number of protests, sulky faces and McG offering to sign all the paperwork and ledgers in his own blood, which the postal staff by now found hilarious, we managed to get the Tuk away an hour early, and set off at 9am.

Taj Mahal, Agra Fort, Camp Indian

2010-09-25T06:11:00.000+01:00

We have seen all three today and Deansy was nearly going to take one home with him, but thank god he quickly asserted his position. I’ll explain, we had a driver and a guide today to take us around Agra and the sights. The guide, Alhab, was very attentive and would at any opportunity try and touch or stroke you whilst giving his explanations of the sights and history. His catch phrase was Mama Mia and whilst pointing our cameras at our ugly mugs around the Taj Mahal he would shriek “beautiful or oh so beautiful” and the likes. We all found this camp Indian fellow quite amusing and good fun. The touching and stroking however was a little to much and, at times, uncomfortable. Anyway live and let live, the guy was probably just being friendly and enthusiastic in his own camp way. Alhab took a bit of a shine to Tim and pronounced him as the leader. Alhab later suggested to Tim that he could come to England and cook and clean for him. I don’t know what it is about Tim, but the people over here tend to warm to him quite quickly. I suppose he’s just a good guy and that people feel he is approachable. Tim, in his diplomatic way explained that he was quite capable of cooking and cleaning for himself, and that Alhab’s services would not be required back in England. Mama Mia to you Alhab, we all enjoyed the day at Agra.

Holy Cow

2010-09-22T07:40:00.000+01:00

Sat in the parcel depot of Lucknow railway station watching our backpacks whilst the other two sorted out the posting of the Tuk. Just sat there in the middle of the goods inward / goods outward chaos minding my own business, when what saunters through? Yea you've guessed it a cow. It was probably returning from a leisurely lay on the train tracks, which when thinking about it, is probably the reason why several of the trains that afternoon had been cancelled. And I know all about the cancelled trains, as I was at the back of the refund queue trying to book tickets, and nearly started rucking with the locals- still, manners cost nothing.

Can we post a large parcel, please? Its an autorickshaw!

2010-09-22T07:33:00.000+01:00

We've made it to Lucknow and have come up with a cunning plan. We know we will struggle to make the finish line in time doing 40 kmh, and we are stuck with our deadline because of our return flights. But we all really want to go to Agra and see the Taj Mahal.

So our cunning plan is we have decided to 'post' the Tuk by train to Jodhpur. We will then travel to Agra by train, see the Taj Mahal, and then get a train to Jodhpur before driving the final section to Jaisalmer. Yesterday, we went to Lucknow station and spent 4 hours wading through Indian bureacracy to get it sent and we're hopeful that we've managed it (if not, we have a return flight from Jodhpur anyway!). We had to fill forms in and take them from office to office so that different officials could write exactly the same thing in a number of different places and asking us exactly the same questions. Total cost for posting the Tuk halfway across India was about thirty quid!

I suppose some purists might think we are cheating a bit, but the adventure to us is to find a way to get the Tuk to the finish line in time, and this is the only way we could do it, short of driving non-stop from now until Sunday.

Spirits are still high in Team Armchair Loafers, helped in no small part to the copious amounts of beer and whisky we are drinking (apart from Jukesy who drinks lots of coffee as alcohol is impeding his search for enlightenment!).India is an amazing country to visit - at times maddeningly frustrating, but also filled with great people and interesting culture. I don't like to think that we are heading towards the end of our journey, but there's always next year!

Money, Money, Money, its not funny!

2010-09-22T07:28:00.003+01:00

After hatching our cunning plan we agreed, that we would need some cash to execute the plan so Deans and took an auto rickshaw to the only place in Lucknow that changes pounds stirling for Indian Rupees. Christ almighty Lucknow is the capital of Udder Pradesh and it doesn't have a bureau de change. only place to change cash was at the main office of the National Bank of India, pretty impressive building , Deans a nd i thought we were going into some sort of palace. Anyway once inside it was the usual Indian bureaucracy gone mad. They have a system for everything in india, but the system is only in existence it seems to ensure as many people are employed as possible.
To change money you must first produce ur passport, which then gets checked for authenticity by two othey guys sat behind desks You then proceed to write down on a form (indians love forms) your name, age, address, nationality shoe size etc... You then write down all the serial numbers of the notes you wish to exchange, you then sign the form. Te woman hands you a token with a number on. (abit like argos) Another woman then comes and re writes everything you have written on the form and transfers the information to another form, the form is then taken to another man who inputs the information onto a computer (i think it was a ZX spectrum, popular in the 1980's to play computer games on). he boss man in the bank then prints something out on his computer scrutinises it for a few minutes signs it and then sends the tea boy to take it over to what looks like a police check point cabin,where a man sits with all the cash. You are then summond the approach the cabin window and hand over the token given to you about an hour ago!
You are then given your Indian Rupees and are free to go!

What a carry on! like i said, i think the systems they have in India to get things done are absurd, they exist only to give the millions of people that live here something to do!

Needless to say when i left the bank there had been a slight increase in my blood pressure!

Mad dogs and English men

2010-09-22T07:26:00.000+01:00

Or more to the point, dead dogs and Indian traffic. Not 10 kilometers seem to go by, and there is anthor dead K9 laid in the middle of the road. The worst is the dead kattle which can be smelled well before and well after the stricken beast is passed. With regad to the living, cows run free everywhere, from the backstreets of the villages to the main road equivalent to our A19. Not only is the traffic impossible, but the miriade of animals (monkeys, cows, goats, dogs, donkeys) that seem to litter every road and mud path, prevent any chance of maintaining a constant speed. Hence, progress is slow, days are long and ass' continued to be pounded.

Lucknow

2010-09-22T07:24:00.000+01:00

Arrived in Lucknow this morning, shortly before lunch (Tuesday 21st Sept) We have covered about a 3rd of the distance that we need to, to complete the run and finish in Jaisalmer. We also need to complete the next 2/3rds of the journey by Sunday 26th. We need a cunning plan

Good horn, good brakes and good luck!

2010-09-22T07:21:00.000+01:00

I was talking to an Indian bus driver the other day and he said if you can drive in India you can drive anywhere in the world. He's not wrong! He then said there are three things you need to drive in India - a good horn, good brakes and good luck! The traffic is pretty hard to describe unless you experience it, but imagine trying to dodge pedestrians in the middle of the road, while swerving to avoid a dozen bikes, a man pushing a hand cart, ten autorickshaws, a lorry, five cars... and a cow! All of which are in a ten metre section of road, and it stays the same for ten miles through a town. Somehow the chaos seems to work and we haven't seen a proper accident yet, though Jukesy managed to knock a guy off his motorbike, and I knocked a kid off his bike at a railway crossing (they were both fine!) - both times it was just by catching their handle bars with the side of the Tuk because you are surrounded by traffic and can't see what's coming up behind you!

We have driven on some good roads, and some truly appalling ones. At the best the Tuk will do about 40 kmh so even with a long day of driving we are not making much progress.

When in Glasgow do as the Glaswegiens do!

2010-09-22T07:03:00.002+01:00

Got on the road from Katmandu at 6am this morning, not sure all these early mornings agree with me. But w e made good progress clocking over 300kms today. We are staying 4km short of the Indian border at Bhairahawa. Found a lovely hotel named Hotel Glasgow, its recommended in the Lonely Planet guide. Well all i can say is we must have an old edition of the guide because it describes the Hotel as nice, clean and tidy rooms with smart bathrooms. The place is a dump, i will post some pictures of my un suite bathroom when i down load the pics from the camera.

Un bloody believable!

Only one thing for it, order a Chicken Tikka Marsala and get the whiskey in. Deansy ordered me a peg of whiskey, which in this neck of the wood turns out to be half a bottle of the stuff. Dont think it will be an early start in the te morning, thank God!

Turns out the guy who owns this place visited Glasgow many years ago and therefore named his Hotel after the quaint little Scottish town. Upon reflection and having visited Glasgow many times the similarities between this place and the traditional Glaswegian boozer are fairly evident. formica walls, plastic chairs and three little Indian guys serving behind the bar.

My botty is killing me, not from the trots but from the relentless bouncing up and down in the Tuk, the road are horrendous, so is Juksey and Deansy's driving! I'm sure they deliberately go over pot holes on my side of the Tuk.

I think my little bum cheeks have bruises on them!

Here's to a we dram more!!

I love Glasgow me!

Well defined or hard to find!

2010-09-18T15:30:00.000+01:00

McGill's abs are a bit like the legendary yeti, in that neither of them exist as much as he might like them too. So he thinks he's becoming well defined, but those abs are pretty hard to find - unless you cut through three or four inches of lard belly - who knows, they might be in there somewhere (and maybe the abominable snowman will hitch a lift off us tomorrow!)

Had a bit of a chill out day today after the flight to Everest. It was interesting to see Kathmandu's International Airport. I think the toilets give you an idea of how good the place is, and its pretty much the same standard throughout the city - the culture and the people are interesting, but it is a dump!

The other thing to say about McGill is about his man-products - he bloody loved getting oiled up by the barber, and he has a rucksack full of clinique slap for the long hard drives between beauty parlours!

2010-09-18T14:47:00.002+01:00

Went to get my obligatory haircut and shave yesterday, Barber did the usual, painstaking haircut and cut throat razor shave, but whist completing my shave asked me some thing about extras. Not one miss out on anything but not quite sure what he said i did my usual "yes that will be fine" line and found myself stuck in the chair for a further 40 minutes. This fella gave be a head and neck massage and rubbed about 20-30 man products into my face, whist also trimming hair of my ears nose eyebrows, my face was a smooth as the preverbial babys bottom. I was so long in the barbers the other too thought i'd been kidnapped. Not that they dragged themselves out of the boozer to come and find out.
Both tall and short agree, its took 10 years off me.

Update in relation to the six pac challenge, Deansy is slowly turning into a butter ball, as he continually necks everest beer, buttered chichen masala and dep fried fatty foods! Six pac??? more like a barrel buldge!
I have not managed the 200 sit ups a day which i set as a target at the begining of the trip, i am probably averaging about one. Getting out of bed on a morning a nd lying back down again at night. I 'm still slimmer than the Deans though!
A good dose of dysentry will get those abs popping i'm sure, but oddly enough we all appear to be solid in that department at the moment! No diacalm need yet if you get what i'm hinting at.

Boys will be be boys!

2010-09-18T14:32:00.002+01:00

Had i really imformative tour around Durbar Square in Thamel yesterday, our guide took us to meet a living God, a child of 5 years of age, who has to undertake 36 diffent chllenges to be accepted as a living God. Pretty heavy stuff fora five year old i think, especially when one of the challenges is that they have to sit in adarkened room all night whilst wild animal noises are played at a high pitch continually. The living God did not come to the window of the temple to see us, when our guide called her, which apparentley is not the norm, she was preparing for an up coming festival. Anyway i have been in close proximity to a living god.

Our guide then took us around some more temples and the one that seemed to catch our eye the most was the Karma Sutra Temple (suprise suprise), Deansy and Jukesy were busy taking pictures of all the erotic wood carvings, well i'd expect nothing less from the deliquent pair. Like a couple of school kids looking at the womens underwear section in the freemans catalouge.
Flight around Everest was pretty spectacular, but those who know me we will understand the 4:30am start was a bit of a killer.
You will note this is my first blogg for quite some time as Deansy the greedy get, hogs the laptop and wont let me get hold of it unless he asleep.
Heading southwest tommorrow, back towards India who knows how far we will get as the roads and traffic are a nightmare.

Have you heard the news today

2010-09-18T07:54:00.000+01:00

Just wandering through the back streets of Kathmandu and got stopped by a young shop owner who brought or attention to yesterdays local rag. The Himalyan News had ran an article on the Rickshaw run after seeing a number of these strange and previously bannished vehicles darting around the city. Well they say, we all experience 15 minutes of fame - would have been better if the picture was of our Tuk. Still, take it where you can get it

The top of the world and back in 50 minutes

2010-09-18T07:43:00.000+01:00

Up at 4.30am this morning to be picked up at 5.15am. A swift taxi ride through the centre of town to the airport. A quick pat down and a squeeze of the buttocks and we were through the security check at departures and put on a bus to the aircraft at the pleasure of Buddhaair. Up up and away across the city of Kathmandu, heading towards the Himalyan range for a birds eye view of mount Sagarmatha (a.k.a. Everest) peaking at 8848m (29028Ft) dressed in snow, spiralling through the clouds and surrounded my miles and miles of mountains and valleys. Agreat experience, $130 each lighter, and as close as we will everget to the top of the world.

Aerial view of Kathmandu

Everest